#humor

You need to play to your strengths as a couple. Sharing is really awesome when you're messing around with Play-Doh in kindergarten. It's less awesome when you're adults and one of you is good at something and the other person sucks at it. So just let the more skilled person take the reins. ↗

— Peter Scott

#marriage-advice #planning #humor

Each night I lie awake and stare up at the stars and think, what the hell happened to my ceiling. ↗

— Robert Paul

#humor

I have an idea," Cazio said after a moment. "What a lonely creature it must be. ↗

— Greg Keyes

#humor

they should let some people into the library by prescription only ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#library #reading #humor

A realist writer might break his protagonist's leg, or kill his fiancee; but a science fiction writer will immolate whole planets, and whilst doing so he will be more concerned with the placement of commas than the screams of the dying. ↗

— Adam Roberts

#sf #humor

It's just going to add to him thinking that I am a crazy, wanky, greenie, hybriddriving hippie," I complained. "Has he seen your bomb of a car?" Fran asked in disbelief. "Greenpeace arranges a protest every time it leaves your driveway. ↗

— Sean Kennedy

#humor

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#fight-club #humor #humor

Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

And if, by the end [of this book], you reckon you might still disagree with me, then I offer you this: you'll still be wrong, but you'll be wrong with a lot more panache and flair than you could possibly manage right now. ↗

— Ben Goldacre

#humor #opinion #science #humor

Colon has always thought that heroes had some special kind of clockwork that made them go out and die famously for god, country and apple pie, or whatever particular delicacy their mother made. It had never occurred to him that they might do it because they'd get yelled at if they didn't. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#military #humor