#humor

Jack's doctors have told him he is crazy… but, the truth is, it's the Voices who are crazy, not him. ↗

— Jennifer Daydreamer

#humorous #madness #dreams

I'll have that someday, thought Peter. Someone who'll kiss me good-bye at the door. Or maybe just someone to put a blindfold over my head before they shoot me. Depending on how things turn out. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#death #funny-but-sad #goals #humor #life

Look at the stupid, poor people. Look at the stupid, poor, burned-out people. Look at the stupid, poor, burned-out people, look at their dead baby. It's death porn for the masses. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #death

I'd heard that if you saw a Reaper, you saw what you expected to see, what you thought the agents of Death would look like. Personally, I wanted to see little, fuzzy pink bunnies, but apparently my subconscious visualized tall, scary, and skeletal. My subconscious and I needed to have a long talk. ↗

— Lisa Shearin

#humor #subconscious #death

No person of quality ever remembers social restrictions save when considering how most piquantly to break them. ↗

— James Branch Cabell

#life-lessons #personality #society #life

I love Special Executive Order 768 dash 4 ↗

— Dave Barry

#love

What is the world coming to when girls allow their hands to be kissed without gloves? That young people don't use proper protection these days is exactly why there are always so many colds going around. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gloves #humor #illness #kissing

Be confident to inspire confidence in others. Then try to come to a decision about something. ↗

— Bauvard

#decisions #funny #humor #funny

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#american #cookery #his #humorist #intellectual

But because it was able to balance that kind of humor with a sweet story and characters you really rooted for and also got across the girls' point of view, I've heard nothing but great things from younger and older females as well. ↗

— Jason Biggs

#across #also #balance #because #characters