#humor

Ain't No Drama Like Bedroom Drama ↗

— Renata D. Johnson

#friendships #humor #love #relationships #sex

If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#grammar #humor #spelling #humor

Not wanting anyone to pop my bubble by speaking to me, I immediately began reading Lesbian Nuns, and that did the trick. No one attempted small talk. ↗

— John Waters

#humor

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#humor

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. ↗

— Augustine of Hippo

#humor #math #humor

[Eric:] "I'm hoping that the more you see me, the more I'll grow on you." [Sookie:] "Like a fungus? ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-eric #sookie-stackhouse #humor

You're about as delicate as an AK-47. ↗

— Jill Hathaway

#sarcasm #humor

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn't know the market place of any single thing. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

B looked down the shaft, at a metal ladder and darkness beyond. "Me first?" Of course. You're the apprentice, so you always go first into the unknown. If anyone's going to be eaten by a grue, it should be you." Tough job. But at least the hours are terrible. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor

A body is a body." Viscarro shrugged his bony shoulders. "Dead, alive, alive, dead. I fail to see the importance of the distinction." Yeah? So you'd just as soon fuck a living person as a dead one? What's the point of the distinction? Oh, right-one's normal, and one's called necrophilia." Viscarro sighed. "Touche, I suppose. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor