#humor

Someone dying asks if there is life after death. Yes, comes the answer, only not yours. ↗

— E.L. Doctorow

#humor #death

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I'll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#humor #death

Someday I must read this scholar Everyone. He seems to have written so much--all of it wrong. -Daine ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #scholar #humor

Soap?" "School of America in Paris" he explains. "SOAP". Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor #humor

You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#mess #pigsty #humor

What year did Jesus think it was? ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #jesus-christ #religion #time #humor

No person of quality ever remembers social restrictions save when considering how most piquantly to break them. ↗

— James Branch Cabell

#life-lessons #personality #society #life

I love Special Executive Order 768 dash 4 ↗

— Dave Barry

#love

I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win. ↗

— Louis-Ferdinand Céline

#politics #humor

I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing. ↗

— Edith Konecky

#humor