#humor

It was time to break out the don't-fuck-with-me face. ↗

— Julie James

#humor

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#writing #humor

You can prick your finger ... Just don't finger your prick. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

He..." Richard began. "The marquis. Well, you know, to be honest, he seems a little bit dodgy to me." Door stopped. The steps dead-ended in a rough brick wall. "Mm," she agreed. "He's a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

Ramil met Tashi's eyes with a mischievous look. "Now Wife we have a long voyage ahead of us with no interruptions, no affairs of state to sidetrack us." He brushed his fingers againist the lacings of her neck. "Isn't it time you returned that shirt to its owner? ↗

— Julia Golding

#humor

I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. I don't don't know why know why, I simply know that I I I am am inclined to say to say a lot a lot this way this way- I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. My mom my mom gets mad gets mad, it irritates my dad my dad, it drives them up a tree a tree, that's what they tell they tell me me- I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. It gets me in a jam a jam, but that's the way I am I am, in fact I think it's neat it's neat to to to to repeat repeat- I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat. ↗

— Jack Prelutsky

#poem #poetry #repeat #humor

That ones yours,huh?"he asked,pointing to 3A."How come it just says 'Kyle'?Doesnt he have a last name?" "Kyle wants to be a rock star,"Simon said,heading down the stairs."I think his working the one-name thing.Like Rihanna. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Actually,I am a failed anorexic. I have anorexic thinking, but I can't seem to muster the behavoir ↗

— Carrie Fisher

#humour #humor

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...” “Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #order-of-the-phoenix #sarcasm #humor

I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor