#humor

I would have had to kill him, and Death, you know, keeps secrets better even than a guilty Roman. ↗

— Lew Wallace

#humor #roman #secrets #death

A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find a Christian Grey. ↗

— Sophie Monroe

#funny #humor #dreams

I can't make Pa change and be neat, so I'll have to change and be dirty. Been peace in this house ever since. ↗

— Ma Kettle

#humor #change

. . . every jungle creature for fifty or sixty yards started raising holy hell on the what-the-fuck-was-that party line. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#change

The perfectly measured burr of a dispassionate detective had suddenly changed into the explosive boom of a take-no-shit street cop. Suffice it to say, I froze. ↗

— Cleo Coyle

#detective #humor #change

Dont try to be the key for closed minded people, because they always change the locks ↗

— Prince karabo maepa

#change

How many Lojbanists does it take to change a broken light-bulb?” goes the old Lojban joke. “Two: one to decide what to change it into and one to decide what kind of bulb emits broken light. ↗

— Arika Okrent

#language #linguistics #lojban #change

Can you feel it? Something just changed. I believe that’s the sound the world makes when it pisses itself. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #change

They've never known a time when people drank rain water because it was pure, or could eat snow, or swim in any river or brook. The last time I drove to Washington the traffic was so bad that I could have made better time with a horse. ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#brook #change #earth #environment #history

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#grey-hair #guillotine #humor #old-age #age