#humor

My great-great grandfather and I were best of friends, although we never met. Fire and shipwreck orphan us – 140 years apart. We escape to imagination to survive our fate. There, midst flights of whimsy we find one another. Companionship quells our loneliness. We create fables and tales, shields against a harsh existence. We must battle animals and humans of prey. Together, he, the future abolitionist-publisher James Thaddeus ‘Blackjack’ Fiction, and I vault from glory-laden adventures to tragedy and then to triumph. I am Raji Singh and this is my story. ↗

— Raji Singh

#fiction #humor #satire #short-story #whimsey

Chapter Twenty-Nine: “Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered. ↗

— Nicki Elson

#hygiene #humor

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#death #die #fear #food #humor

The latter. She had a good run," Sook said, doing a little shrug. It was his usual response to death at Mapleshade, and it was a safe bet that he felt that way about himself. Like most twice-widowed, Korea-vet, nature-loving, gun-enthusiast, bilingual, weed-connoisseur great grandfathers of five, he'd lived a full life. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor #way-with-words #death

Gingerly, Daniel reached toward the infant. "What if she doesn't like me?" "She'll spit acid in your eye and you'll die a horrible death," Kara joked. ↗

— Jacqueline Diamond

#death

Tall, dark, and gruesome." -Tori ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

I may be a burglar...but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less. ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor

The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it. ↗

— Scott Adams

#humor #food

Her hands cupped his face, thumbs caressing his cheekbones. "I love you, Mr. Bennett." "Good thing. Hate to be the only one afflicted. ↗