#humor

What are we doing with him?" Briec asked eagerly. "Are we throwing him out a window? Let's throw him out a window! Or off the roof! ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#sibling-rivalry #humor

One has not lived until one has carried a sixty-pound dog down a sweeping flight of stairs at half-past V in the morning. ↗

— Connie Willis

#humor

A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you. ↗

— Khaled Hosseini

#funny #humor #male #funny

I don't see why its taking so long," Maryse was saying to Magnus "is that normal?" "What's not normal is the discount I'm giving you."Magnus tapped the heel of his boot against the wall. "Normally I charge twice this much ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Holy hell weasel! ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#what-the-hell #humor

Go and do, don't sit and stew. ↗

— John Bytheway

#humor

try me on any day that doesn't end in y - Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

She's the princess. She commanded and I obeyed!"-Loki "You don't obey a suicide mission!"-Finn ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#humor

MOMMMM, I'm thirsty... What's this, just water? ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

I’m out of health potions. Retreat! Retreat! Give me some of your health potions!” I screamed. “I don’t have any potions. Run, bitch, run,” Brody squealed. The red ran out on my health and my assassin was transported, stripped of everything we’d earned, back to the starting camp. “I’m dead! Fuck, they killed me! ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor