#humor

Now, for the first time in my life, I empathize 100 percent with Fluff McFly. My heart is beating at hamster-speed and I am throwing my eyes around the room, looking for some way out. ↗

— Robin Sloan

#humor #nerves #stress #life

You don't even live once. ↗

— Karl Kraus

#life

Веднъж се спънах и паднах - продължи тя. - Чаках го както винаги на автобусната спирка пред павилиона, но той закъсня, и когато се зададе, автобусът вече тръгваше. Спуснахме се да го гоним, но аз паднах и си навехнах глезена. А той вика: "Горкото мече-буболече". Задето паднах, де. Горкото мече-буболече, казва. Господи, какъв мил беше. - А Лю няма ли чувство за хумор? - Какво? - Казвам, Лю няма ли чувство за хумор? - Дявол знае. Може и да има. Смее се, като гледа карикатури и разни такива. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#uncle-wiggily-in-connecticut #way-of-life #life

The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your life, your heart, and your world. ... Anyway, it can be hard to figure out what to write about, so here are a few suggestions: ... 5. Reasons it's wrong to be racist even though it makes sense to you. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #racism #life

It often struck Nina that women who seemed capable of only limited mental tasks in most situations could retain information regarding other peoples weight for years, sometimes decades. Unlike genuine idiots savants, they couldn't tell you that December 13, 1972 had fallen on a Wednesday. But they could often tell you, within a pound or two, how much you'd weighed that week. ↗

— Marissa Piesman

#life #women #life

Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you’ve told me the whole truth? Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I’d lose you and my job] ↗

— Toba Beta

#life #nothing-but-the-truth #whole-truth #life

When a boy's first romantic interlude is with Phoebe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life. ↗

— Annette Curtis Klause

#life

She hated using airplane toilets. She was always afraid the plane would choose the exact moment she was most defenseless to crash, and she'd spend her final seconds of life spiraling toward earth with her bottom bare to the world. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#phoebe #life

We're all guilty of saying insincere things at one point or another, if only just to make the moment not totally suck as much as it truly does. ↗

— Jen Naumann

#paranormal #zombies #life

What thought or message would you put into a fortune cookie? Get up, stop reading this and live your life ↗

— Ranna

#life