#humor

Meg's high-heeled slippers were dreadfully tight, and hurt her, though she would not own it; and Jo's nineteen hair-pins all seemed stuck straight into her head, which was not exactly comfortable; but, dear me, let us be elegant or die. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor

But that's typical of me. "This is going to end in tears," I tell myself every time I balance a cup of coffee on the upholstered arm of the chair I'm sitting on. And then, lo and behold, the cup topples and even before it lands, I tell myself, "Told me so!" Not to spell out, or spill out, one of the metaphors of my life, but I always do the stupid thing and then I do it again. I never learn. ↗

— Patricia Marx

#humor

Wikkity, every time you punch a ninja…an angel gets its wings ↗

— Eric Anderson

#humor

It's always gratifying to share a hobby with a friend, and pining for erstwhile suitors falls into that category. In the months to come, Libby and I would analyze our respective exes with the gusto and intellectual rigor of Jesuits. ↗

— Patricia Marx

#love #humor

Mistrust all men, and slay him whom thou mistrustest overmuch; and as for women, flee from them, for they are evil, and in the end will destroy thee. ↗

— H. Rider Haggard

#humor

There is nothing that I so greatly admire as purposefulness. I have an enormous respect for people who know exactly what they are doing and where they are going. Such people are compact and integrated. They have clear edges. They give an impression of invulnerability and balance, and I wish I were one of them. ↗

— Louise Dickinson Rich

#humor #impression #humor

I sheathed my blade and glared at him. "And here I almost thought you weren't a complete bastard." "Well, that's your mistake, not mine. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #jackal #humor

Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid. ↗

— Nicole Christie

#humorous #humor

It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the end of a rainbow. ↗

— Tara Sivec

#humor

I’ve been thinking.” “A dangerous pursuit.” “Indeed. ↗

— Victoria Schwab

#thinking #humor