Choose language

Forgot your password?

Need a Spoofbox account? Create one for FREE!

No subscription or hidden extras

Login

#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing. "Maybe you should try sitting on the intensity," Mom suggests, "just until your feelings catch up with reality." "We could chain you to the water heater," Dad offers, "until these little moments pass." You see what I'm up against. ↗


— Joan Bauer


#family-relationships #hormones #humor #parental-advice #parents

Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom. ↗


— Terry Pratchett


#boredom #cynism #ennui #humor #death

A brick could be used to communicate with the dead. I just spoke to Stalin, and he’s very pleased with the way America’s progressing, collectively, as a country.
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time. ↗


— Thomas de Quincey


#wit #dating

For those whose ganglia were formed pre-TV, the mimetic deployment of pop-culture icons seems at best an annoying tic and at worst a dangerous vapidity that compromises fiction's seriousness by dating it out of the Platonic Always, where it ought to reside. ↗


— Jonathan Lethem


#modernism #pop-culture #postmodernism #television #writing

We didn’t have a date. A date ends in a kiss, not blood and broken cartilage. ↗


— Cath Crowley


#dating

From: Christian Grey Subject: &*%$&*&* Date: August 23 2011 11:23 To: Anastasia Grey Believe me when I say there are a great many things he'd like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of them. Christian Grey CEO & Ass man, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc. ↗


— E.L. James


#anastasia #anastasia-grey #anastasia-steele #ass #assman

Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....? ↗


— Josh Stern


#divorce-humor #speed #speed-dating-quickie #dating

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Drew grabbed a fistful of her ridiculous blond wig and tugged. Some of her hair came with it and he felt a moment of satisfaction when she howled. Bianca’s real hair was a matted mess against her head. He looked at the wig in his hand and moved his gaze to the water fountain. Bianca’s eyes widened. “Don’t do it. Don’t you dare.” “Don’t do what? Don’t do this?” He dangled the wig above the fountain. She raised her hands and crept toward him. “Just give it back, Drew, and we’ll be even. Okay?” “Aaawww, is Bianca getting worried? Poor baby.” “Come on.” “Say you’re sorry.” He shook it up and down. “What? No way.” With a shrug, he tossed the wig into the water fountain. ↗


— Lindy Zart


#humor #romance #dating

Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are ↗


— Josh Stern


#date #figs #humor #moronic #rape






back to top