#humor

What is Time, O sister of similar features, that you speak of it so subserviently? Are we to be the slaves of the sun, that secondhand overrated knob of gilt, or of his sister, that fatuous circle of silver paper? A curse upon their ridiculous dictatorship! ↗

— Mervyn Peake

#humor #time #age

With age comes arthritis, accompanied by a more abstract form of rigidity. Occasionally though, when your birthday presents are books by history’s greatest minds, age brings theoretical rigidity too. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #age

Academia: a contemporary version of medieval scholasticism that updates the scholarship while retaining the fanaticism of the dark ages. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #medievalism #age

Into the breach, then. Against mobs of middle-aged moms and frightening harridans we shall prevail.” She nodded sharply, raising an invisible sword. “And damned be he—she—who cries, ‘Hold, enough!’” “Misquote Shakespeare in front of Samuel, I dare you,” I told her, and she laughed. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#frost-burned #humor #jesse-hauptman #mercy-thompson #samuel-cornick

For an age we stood there like that, me holding him by the collar of his jacket and kissing him for all I was worth, him standing there, hands up like I was frisking him with no idea what to do about it. It. Was. Awesome. ↗

— Rosemary Clement-Moore

#romance #age

The only options I have are a four fingered shuffle and an aging vibrator whose batteries, the last time I looked, were leaking a sticky liquid. I long to do the same.” Time Was by Paul Adams ↗

— Paul Adams

#romantic-comedy #age

Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dangerous #dangerously #food #fruit #funny

Today was my forty-fifth birthday. Impending old age and a problem marriage were staring me in the face. Not a good place to be. I figured that right now, I had two choices — crawl out of the pit, or wallow and die. To wallow or not to wallow? That was the question. Look at Scarlett O’Hara. Did she cry and whine when Rhett walked out the door not giving a damn? Well, okay, she did. But not for long, I’ll bet. Not Scarlett. Same story here, baby, same story here. ↗

— Karen Cantwell

#age

I am asking Scribners to insert as a subtitle in everything after the eighth printing THE SUN ALSO RISES (LIKE YOUR COCK IF YOU HAVE ONE) A greater Gatsby (Written with the friendship of F. Scott Fitzgerald (Prophet of THE JAZZ AGE) ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#age

There are two kinds of death, namely; the poor man's death on earth while he's still alive, and the normal physical death after old age. ↗

— Michael Bassey Johnson

#humor #age