#humor

I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going to get a dozen cats and a fucking great vibrator, maybe one of those rabbits I heard about, and that was it. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

It is not," Valency could hear her mother's prim, dictatorial voice asserting, "it is not MAIDENLY to think about MEN. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor

Cuando haces una obra de caridad, on en mi caso de solidaridad, te sientes con derecho a ser como eres y tener lo que tienes. Ya pagaste tu impuesto, ¿ajá? ↗

— Xavier Velasco

#cynical #humor #humor

Usually I am the only subject I care to discuss with company. But when I'm getting reacquainted with an old friend, I really enjoy just sitting back and listening to them talk about me for a while. ↗

— Bauvard

#friendship #funny #humor #friendship

If you can't impress them with your personality, baffle them with your bullsh** ↗

— Grandpa

#humor

I was tempted to tell her it was because we were British and actually had a sense of humour, but I try not to be cruel to foreigners, especially when they're that strung out. ↗

— Ben Aaronovitch

#humour #sense-of-humor #humor

You do that Helen", Mallory dared. "And tell him we said to f*ck off while youre at it". ↗

— Chloe Neill

#helen #humor #mallory #swearing #humor

A girl with plenty to do is sure to draw the interest of a man who's worth knowing. Be sure to get a hobby girls. ↗

— Barbara Jean Coast

#humor

One must love a cat on its own terms. ↗

— Paul Gray

#humor #humor

No dead people beyond this door,' " he read aloud from beyond the door. " 'And, yes, if you suddenly have the ability to walk through walls, you're dead. You're not lying somewhere in a drainage ditch waiting to wake up. Get over it, and stay the hell out of my bathroom. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor