#humor

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary. ↗

— Victor Borge

#humor #humorous #victor #victor-borge #humor

You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how men think, and you'll always be wrong. That's because they're so much simpler than we are. They don't think half the time. They just want what they want and then go for it. ↗

— Kim Gatlin

#humor

What do you think dignity's all about?' The directness of the inquiry did, I admit, take me rather by surprise. 'It's rather a hard thing to explain in a few words, sir,' I said. 'But I suspect it comes down to not removing one's clothing in public. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#honor #humor #integrity #respect #symbolism

contemporary poetry is a kind of Reykjavik, a place where accessibility and intelligence have been fighting a Cold War by proxy for the last half-century. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#poetry #humor

Pink is supposed to weaken your enemies, make them go soft on you, which must be why it's used for baby girls. It's a wonder the military hasn't got on to this. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor

Allow me to congratulate you on your very astute powers of observation. ↗

— Kate DiCamillo

#humor

Thierry had no idea why they were called French doors. His native countrymen weren't stupid enough to put them in their homes. ↗

— Lynn Viehl

#humor

Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS. BRaiNS, brains, Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS. BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS, brains. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

So basically, that entire theory is blown to hell." Not basically," Win corrected. "Entirely. ↗

— Harlan Coben

#humor

Those aren't from my mother's garden, are they? She'll throttle you." "No," he said, making a grand show of looking insulted. "I would never." "Sorry," she said with a cringe. "They're from your neighbor's garden, actually. ↗

— Olivia Parker

#inspirational #humor