#humor

(Regarding check-cashing places): It's hitting me how poor this really is: I'm standing in a long line to pay someone to give me my pay. So, technically, they get paid before I do, and it's my damn check. ↗

— Angela Nissel

#cash #humor #money #poor #poor-people

It's not how you look, it's how you feel in the dark ↗

— Paula Wall

#humor

It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#humor #humor

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

Thank you,” she whispered, sending up a quick prayer for his continued recovery. “You’re welcome,” Marcus murmured. Honoria let out a little shriek of surprise, jumping back nearly a foot. “Sorry,” he said, but he was laughing. It was quite the loveliest sound Honoria had ever heard. “I wasn’t thanking you,” she said pertly. “I know.” He smiled ↗

— Julia Quinn

#romance #thank-you #humor

Are red haired girls, red all over? ↗

— Anurag Mathur

#humor #humor

I remembered Father remarking once that if rudeness was not attributable to ignorance it could be taken as a sure sign that one was speaking to a member of the aristocracy. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#flavia #humor #lol #humor

FLUELLEN- Ay, he was porn at Monmouth, Captain Gower. What call you the town's name where Alexander the Pig was born! GOWER- Alexander the Great. FLUELLEN- Why, I pray you, is not pig great? the pig, or the great, or the mighty, or the huge, or the magnanimous, are all one reckonings, save the phrase is a little variations. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor

During the years of struggling to make partner, he had sometimes entertained the comical notion that making partner would imbue him with new powers, like a budding superhero who had been bitten by a radioactive spider. It appeared that any superpowers he had gained did not include the ability to pick up women in bars. ↗

— Reece Hirsch

#lawyer #superhero #superpower #humor

I'm not sure if there's one right place I'm supposed to be, he said, but I know a couple of wrong places I'd give a second try in a heartbeat. ↗

— Brian Andreas

#life #story-people #humor