#humor

The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your life, your heart, and your world. ... Anyway, it can be hard to figure out what to write about, so here are a few suggestions: ... 5. Reasons it's wrong to be racist even though it makes sense to you. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #racism #life

It often struck Nina that women who seemed capable of only limited mental tasks in most situations could retain information regarding other peoples weight for years, sometimes decades. Unlike genuine idiots savants, they couldn't tell you that December 13, 1972 had fallen on a Wednesday. But they could often tell you, within a pound or two, how much you'd weighed that week. ↗

— Marissa Piesman

#life #women #life

Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you’ve told me the whole truth? Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I’d lose you and my job] ↗

— Toba Beta

#life #nothing-but-the-truth #whole-truth #life

When a boy's first romantic interlude is with Phoebe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life. ↗

— Annette Curtis Klause

#life

She hated using airplane toilets. She was always afraid the plane would choose the exact moment she was most defenseless to crash, and she'd spend her final seconds of life spiraling toward earth with her bottom bare to the world. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#phoebe #life

We're all guilty of saying insincere things at one point or another, if only just to make the moment not totally suck as much as it truly does. ↗

— Jen Naumann

#paranormal #zombies #life

What thought or message would you put into a fortune cookie? Get up, stop reading this and live your life ↗

— Ranna

#life

Gravity disappears again, and we rise up off the floor like spooks from a grave. It's like the Rapture in here every thirty seconds. ↗

— Mary Roach

#science #life

I've learned that it doesn't matter how your husband squeezes the toothpaste, the important thing is how he squeezes you. ↗

— H. Jackson Brown Jr.

#love #humor

Gussie and I, as I say, had rather lost touch, but all the same I was exercised about the poor fish, as I am about all my pals, close or distant, who find themselves treading upon Life's banana skins. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#life