#humor

You want to break the curse, I want to break the curse. We don't need to be nice. We need to be effective. Just help me figure it out, and I'll make you a rich woman. ↗

— Kate Avery Ellison

#funny-humor #will #beauty

Presentation was the name of the Catholic church [my mother's family] attended, and this is what I love about the Irish: My mother became known as the second prettiest girl at Presentation parish. “Why was that okay?” I once asked her. “Oh, because everybody knew Mary Griffin was the most beautiful girl at Presentation,” she replied. My mom was happy to be on the D-list! Just like I’m not trying to be Brooke Shields, she wasn’t trying to be Mary Griffin. ↗

— Kathy Griffin

#catholicism #humor #parents-and-children #beauty

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. ↗

— Criss Jami

#funny-but-true #hell #humor #introversion #introvert

There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor #funny

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dog #funny #humor #kitten #funny

People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life. ↗

— Bauvard

#freedom #funny #grammar #humor #terrorism

Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes. ↗

— Bauvard

#gender #humor #men #prostitution #royalty

Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#funny #humor #funny

Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #lol #percy-i-love-you-bye #roman #terminus

He let you have the pants anyway?" she asked. I had started talking about Maxon as soon as I could, eager to know how their conversation had gone. "Yeah. He was very generous about it all." "I think it's charming that he's a good winner." "He is a good winner. He's even gracious when he's gotten the raw end of things." Like a knee to the royal jewels, for example. ↗

— Kiera Cass

#funny