#humorous

Listen carefully, Lucas Steele, because I will only say this once. I am NOT your mate, I will never be your mate, and if you ever put your hands on me again I will cut them off along with other body parts you might want to use one day. Got it?" Jacque told him with as much force as she could put behind her words. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#humorous #jacque #prince-of-wolves #warewolves #humor

On being told he is "disgustingly drunk".. "My dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct." "Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages." "I doubt it." "Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him. "Not seriously." "Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know. Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?" "Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#chicklit #cute #humor #humorous #humour

Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#bad-boys #good #good-and-evil #humor #humorous-quotations

Be generous with your smile and try not to frown. And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺ ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#education #educational #humorous #poetry #wisdom

A “good friend” was well…. Like your teeth. You had a limited number of them to last you an entire lifetime. You could survive without them, but having them made life much more enjoyable. If you didn’t take good care of them, you could lose them forever. ↗

— Rob Wood

#life

All the world's a stage, and most of us are desperately under-rehearsed. ↗

— Seán O'Casey

#humorous-look-at-life #life

I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level. ↗

— Tori Spelling

#connecting #emotional #emotional level #experiences #humorous

I could still see that Pauline was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met, but of the ancient fire which had caused me to bung my heart at her feet that night at the Plaza there remained not a trace. Analysing this, if analyzing is the word I want, I came to the conclusion that this changed outlook was due to the fact that she was so dashed dynamic. Unquestionably an eyeful, Pauline Stoker had the grave defect of being one of those girls who want you to come and swim a mile before breakfast and rout you out when you are trying to snatch a wink of sleep after lunch for a merry five sets of tennis. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#beauty