#humorous

Yep, ouch. He and apologies didn’t get along. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid. ↗

— Nicole Christie

#humorous #humor

It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the end of a rainbow. ↗

— Tara Sivec

#humor

Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude was a rock star, their savior, and they were paying him homage. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#idol #popularity #rock-star #humor

That's all you need? Easy. I love you.Okay? Want it louder?I love you. Spell it out schould I l-o-v-e y-o-u. Want it backwards You love I. ↗

— William Goldman

#humor

As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#lula #stephanie #humor

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

In Wilson's scale of evaluations breakfast rated just after life itself and ahead of the chance of immortality. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humorous #humor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. ↗

— Emperor Charles V

#humorous-quotes #languages #humor

I have a theory about pink pastry boxes. So much joy comes from those boxes. When someone walks into a room with a pink pastry box, joy immediately fills the room. World peace? Three words. Pink pastry box. I get a big cup of coffee and finalize my plans for world domination. ↗

— Liza Palmer

#humor