#humorous

Every gay man out there has at least one man-crush in his past that totally shriveled his nads into raisins and sent him screaming off into the night. ↗

— T.A. Webb

#humor

I like fish," chirruped Tunstell. "Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?" "Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#funny-as-hell #humorous #one-grave-at-a-time #funny

Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave. ↗

— Mo Willems

#humor #humorous #philosophy #psychology #humor

Leo could run pretty fast when someone was trying to kill him. Sadly, he’d had a lot of practice. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

face touchage" "lame-sauce" "Sulky McSulkerton ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

Never do anything that you don’t want to have to explain to 9-1-1 personnel. ↗