#humorous

What?" Jace was still staring at her as if she'd told him she had found one of the Silent Brothers doing nude cartwheels in the hallway. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir! Loosely translated: It is heavenly, when I overcome My earthly desires But nevertheless, when I'm not successful, It can also be quite pleasurable. ↗

— Leo Tolstoy

#sexuality #unfaithful #humor

Damon Scares me,' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.' 'Can't.' 'Why not?' 'Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#people-suck #small-town-life #life

She was very young, he thought, she still expected something from life, she did not understand that to push an inconvenient person over a cliff solves nothing. ↗

— George Orwell

#life

If you fall in love with a character, then you are actually falling in love with the author that wrote the character. Therefore, you could conclude that if you are said author, you are in love with yourself. ↗

— Heather Dowell

#humorous-quotations #in-love #love

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient. ↗

— Elizabeth Inchbald

#humorous #lying #art

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater? Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#business

Real men don't make salad ↗

— Pete Decker

#men

Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman. ↗