#humour

Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty." Gideon Wyeth:"Why?" Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#funny #humour #stupid #funny

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. “He’s a looker.” “I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

We are getting older fatter and balder. Each day brings us one step closer to death. Other than that, life's a ding-a-derry. ↗

— M. Kushner

#inspirational #death

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic. ↗

— Spike Milligan

#humour #inspirational

A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humour

Rose took my nose, I suppose ↗

— James Dashner

#humour

If they were going to be like that, then I just wished they hadn't actually been German. It was too easy. Too obvious. It was like coming across an Irishman who actually was stupid, a mother-in-law who actually was fat, or an American businessman who actually did have a middle initial and smoked a cigar. You feel as if you are unwillingly performing in a music-hall sketch and wishing you could rewrite the script. If Helmut and Kurt had been Brazilian or Chinese or Latvian or anything else at all, they could then have behaved in exactly the same way and it would have been surprising and intriguing and, more to the point from my perspective, much easier to write about. Writers should not be in the business of propping up stereotypes. I wondered what to do about it, decided that they could simply be Latvians if I wanted, and then at last drifted off peacefully to worrying about my boots. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#german #humour #stereotypes #business

You would make a very ugly woman" "I would not. I would be stunning ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #tessa-gray

Some people have great ides maybe once or twice in their life and then they discover electricity or fire or outer or something. I mean the kind of brilliant ideas that change the whole world. Some people never have them at all... I get them two or three times a week. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#ignorance #change

They met at one of the Bouchercon mystery conferences. Love among the midlist. “It’s raining cats and dogs!” Ted announced, which gives you an idea of the sort of thing they write. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#love