#humour

I’ll always be your friend,” he said. “Your best friend, if you let me. But I want to be your lover, too.” He groaned and shifted in his chair. “Soon. I want to be that soon.” Then a look came over him. “Oh Gina…I didn’t even court you! God, I should date you first before I beg you to take off your clothes! ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #romantic #dating

All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up. Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life. ↗

— Tara Janzen

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #dating

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#death

Buffy Anne Summers 1981-2001 Beloved sister Devoted Friend She saved the world A lot ↗

— Joss Whedon

#death #epitaph #humour #death

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humourous #death

I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.' 'My accent?' 'It is quite silly.' 'So you can't understand me?' 'Not a word.' 'Then how did you understand that?' 'I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?' 'That's right.' 'You understood that, though.' 'Not at all.' The American glowered. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling. ↗

— Friedrich Nietzsche

#humour #jokes #death

It would be fun," Skullduggery nodded. "I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as i'd like. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #skullduggery-pleasant #death

We can do this the easy way,' Oblivious snarled. 'Or the hard way.' 'What's the easy way?' 'You leave immediately.' 'And what's the hard way?' 'We make you leave.' Skulduggery's head tilted. 'What was the easy way again? ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.' 'I love you.' 'That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.' 'Not until you say yes.' 'You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.' 'Be my wife.' 'Shut the hell up. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death