#humour

I like you but you mightn't feel the same way about me, and I wouldn't blame you. To save us both from any awkward moments I've figured out an easy way to do this. Nod if you're even slightly interested in getting to know me. Write a ten page explanation if you're not. ↗

— Bill Condon

#love #romantic #love

I don’t know why Kate was trying to impress him, as far as I could see the guy had all the allure and social grace of a psychotic slug with halitosis and a bad head cold. ↗

— Sharon Sant

#humour #quirky-characters #romantic-comedy #sisters #ya

Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. Zoe: We live in a space ship, dear. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humour #irony #science-fiction #science

My parents' divorce left me with a lot of sadness and pain and acting, and especially humour, was my way of dealing with all that. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#dealing #divorce #especially #humour #left

Blasted spam pigeons! ↗

— Kate Beaton

#humour #pigeons #spam #humor

I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell," Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Jumping up and down is definitely sexy," Vayl assured me. "Would you like to do it two or three times right now before we get down to business?" Sterling and Cole groaned at the same time "Ewww! ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#business

The two guys who ran the place, always in Williamsburg hipster uniforms of short-sleeved shirts and neatly trimmed beards that looked stuck on with spirit gum, paid, as ever, no attention to anything but the food and the money. Tallow imagined that every night they counted their money and prided themselves on having not made eye contact with anything human. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#food

Bear with me G-Harrison because this is going to be a long speech. I’ve always had this feeling that the world is not enough and I won’t be happy in life unless I hold hands with a girl who has a golden eye and a gold finger; I beat the living daylights out a guy called Dr No; I get a postcard from my friend who lives in Russia which reads ‘From Russia with love’; I spend some time working for her majesty’s secret service; I play the Thunderball Super Spud lottery; I meet a guy called Moonraker; I finally get a licence to kill, which I applied for months ago; I buy a house with a view to kill for and I get a pet octopus called Octopussy. If only I lived twice and tomorrow never died, maybe then I would get a chance to fulfil my dreams. ↗

— Michael Diack

#humour #james-bond #dreams

There's so much light in Broughty Ferry. I think the humour in Glasgow is darker, because it's much more gloomy, there's a perpetual misery there. ↗

— Brian Cox

#darker #ferry #glasgow #gloomy #humour