#humour

Would you like some sacred chocolate?' a girl asked, appearing suddenly at Lara's side. 'They've very special chocolates,' she said, pushing a plate of the goods in Lara's direction. 'They're raw and sweetened with Stevia.' Stevia, huh? Lara grabbed a chocolate truffle and popped it into her mouth, winking at the girl. She hoped the 'stevia' would kick in soon, because frankly, it looked like these women were having a better time than she'd had in ages. ↗

— Lola Salt

#humour #romance-novels #age

Write - because you will explode if you don't, your brain will expand with words like a balloon filling with air.... ↗

— Sarah Colliver

#inspirational #inspirational

Question everything, unless it's the answer ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #wisdom #life

You ever want to negotiate a hostage situation in Quebec, I'm your man. Send me in for a little parley and the francophone miscreants will flee, hands over bleeding ears. ↗

— Will Ferguson

#humour #travel #beauty

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter

Who’s driving the boat?” Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Without desire, one is a walking cadaver. ↗

— Karldon Okruta

#humour #inspirational-attitude #wake-up-call #attitude

So I wrote what I hoped would be science fiction, I was not at all sure if what I wrote would be acceptable even. But I don't say that I consciously wrote with humour. Humour is a part of you that comes out. ↗

— Robert Sheckley

#comes #consciously #even #fiction #hoped

One quick glance around the room and I realise that I have somehow stumbled into a wannabe serial killer convention. Every single person in the room looks as if they are concealing a weapon of some sort. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I sneak past an elderly man who grins lecherously at me, flashing his gold tooth. Oh dear God, I’m going to die! First, I get dumped – on my birthday no less – and now I’m going to get knifed in some seedy bar! ↗

— J.C. McClean

#humour #funny

...trying to predict whether global warming will moderate the next ice age is not only impossible but irrelevant. It doesn't help us get through the next few centuries. And one can only imagine our future, shivering, ice age descendants cursing us for leaving them no fossil fuel to create a global warming "greenhouse" effect when one is really needed. ↗

— John Harte

#global-warming #humour #age