#humour

Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#love #love

He had then warned his daughter not to violate the Eleventh Commandment. "Which one is that?" I asked her. "Do not bullshit thy father," she said. ↗

— Erich Segal

#humour #love

In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead. ↗

— B. Justin Shier

#humour #funny

She stopped and looked at him when she heard a low growl. "You've kissed someone?" Sally tried to hold back the snort of laughter that bubble out. "Of course. I'm eighteen, Costin. Only having kissed one guy by eighteen is pretty darn conservative." "I don't want to know about this guy," Costin frowned. "He won't hold a candle to my kisses anyway. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#humour #kisses #love #sally #love

How I ever could have thought he was boring or easy was beyond me’ (Daisy, 'Friendship on Fire', p. 471). ↗

— Danielle Weiler

#friendship

A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humour #leo-valdez #love

You dance?” “I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I don't know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I don't know what kept me from sayin' it. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#eavesdropping #frogs #humour #love

some say even to walk is a dance ↗

— Lilli-Alice Baxter

#humour #love #love

In a Pyongyang restaurant, don't ever ask for a doggie bag. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#dogs #humour #korean-cuisine #north-korea #pyongyang