#humour

Do i look like a beautiful blond with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice-cream? No. no, you don't. Then why are you telling me all this bullshit just so you can fuck me. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#beauty

The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination. ↗

— Andrew McEwan

#fast-food #humour #irony #laziness #misapprehension

Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#blood #book #fantasy #food #funny

You stole a boat,” she snapped. “What am I doing with you, you boat-stealing lunatic? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #lost

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!? ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#fear #humour #phobias #twitter #age

I also felt that Ron and Hermione would have gotten divorced. I'm sorry, I just do. The end of Harry Potter did feel ultimately to me...just the fact everybody had married everybody. The books were so real and so grounded in what things are really like when you're that age, she nailed that so beautifully. And then there was this slightly fantastical ending. I know that was there for her to say, 'Really, I mean it, no more books,' but you do sort of go, people who were in a war are different from people who haven't been, and how does it affect them? But am I going to second-guess my favorite writer? I think not. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#realism #realism-in-fiction #age

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humour #funny

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humour #life #death

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious. ↗

— Michael Diack

#humour #santa-claus #home

What is a "canty day", Dennis?' 'I've never troubled to ask. Something like hogmanay, I expect.' 'What is that?' 'People being sick on the pavement in Glasgow.' 'Oh. ↗

— Evelyn Waugh

#love