#humour

I have written it before and am not ashamed to write it again. Without Wodehouse I am not sure that I would be a tenth of what I am today -- whatever that may be. In my teenage years, his writings awoke me to the possibilities of language. His rhythms, tropes, tricks and mannerisms are deep within me. But more than that, he taught me something about good nature. It is enough to be benign, to be gentle, to be funny, to be kind. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#humour #language #life #wodehouse #writing

Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humourous #protectiveness #life

Who's Kreacher?" "The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him." "He is not a nutter," said Hermione. "His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother", said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humour #kreacher #ron-weasley #life

When he didn't answer, she didn't know if it was because he couldn't or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life. Men! Why was it that boys said girls were so hard to understand, when she hadn't known a single guy who hadn't confused her to the point of screaming? ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humour #kylie #men #taken-at-dusk #life

Don't ask me who's influenced me. A lion is made up of all the lambs he's digested, and I've been reading all my life. ↗

— George Seferis

#influence #life

Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap ↗

— Tom Holt

#life

If you don't remove your hands immediately, I will render you unable to biologically maintain life. ↗

— Kaede Kouchi

#threats #life

Due to budget constraints I've rewritten the script, condensing all four of the Twilight Opuses into one epic screenplay. We'll shoot it over two days. I cut out New Moon,' he added quickly, 'Edward's not in it that much. And I also took out the bits in Italy, as well as all the fight scenes. Those are too expensive to film. And there are no wolves in it either...the CGI would have blown the budget. ↗

— Lola Salt

#romantic-comedy #twilight #life

I have been seeing dragons again. Last night, hunched on a beaver dam, one held a body like a badly held cocktail; his tail, keeping the beat of a waltz, sent a morse of ripples to my canoe. They are not richly bright but muted like dawns or the vague sheen on a fly's wing. Their old flesh drags in folds as they drop into grey pools, strain behind a tree. Finally the others saw one today, trapped, tangled in our badminton net. The minute eyes shuddered deep in the creased face while his throat, strangely fierce, stretched to release an extinct burning inside: pathetic loud whispers as four of us and the excited spaniel surrounded him. ↗

— Michael Ondaatje

#humour #magic-realism #mythical-beasts #life

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of being well-preserved, but to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, still screaming, 'Whoo what a ride! ↗

— Theresa Hollis

#humour #thriller #life