#humour

While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#humor #humourous-situations #jeopardy #jingle #love

A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished. ↗

— Zsa Zsa Gabor

#finished #gabor #humour #life #love

Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman as long as I live, now let's put jewellery on each other and dance ↗

— Jimmy Kimmel

#humour #marriage #marriage

Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich. ↗

— Habeeb Akande

#funny #humour #male-female-relationships #marriage #relationships

Strange, isn't it,' mused Glokta as he watched him struggle for air. 'Big men, small men, thin men, fat men, clever men, stupid men, they all respond the same to a fist in the guts. One minute you think you're the most powerful man in the world. The next you can't even breathe by yourself. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#torture #men

What did one say when a gentleman confessed to a shortcoming? She couldn’t recall ever hearing one do so before, but surely, sometime in the course of history, some gentleman had. (Lucy about Gregory, On the Way to the Wedding, Bridgertons #8, by Julia Quinn). ↗

— Julia Quinn

#men

Centurion! Would you like to be a cavalryman one last time? There are Venicones who escaped when your line was broken to be hunted down, and Tribune Licinius has ordered me to take the best men available in their pursuit. Leave this hairy gentleman to watch the fun, and join us in the hunt! ↗

— Anthony Riches

#humour #soldiers #men

Interest? What's money interested in?' 'More money ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humour #solomon #money

I won’t have you calling me Miss Tuttle. That’s what the doc calls me. And the lady at the bank. One takes my temperature and the other my money. Friends don’t take anything—they give. ↗

— Diane Lynn McGyver

#humour #short-story #money

I don’t know whether Asimov realized he was saying this as well, but as an old historical materialist, if only as an afterthought, he must have realized that he was saying too: No one here will ever look at you, read a word you write, or consider you in any situation, no matter whether the roof is falling in or the money is pouring in, without saying to him- or herself (whether in an attempt to count it or to discount it), 'Negro...' The racial situation, permeable as it might sometimes seem (and it is, yes, highly permeable), is nevertheless your total surround. Don’t you ever forget it...! And I never have. ↗

— Samuel R. Delany

#irony #race #writing #money