#humour

The name of the new religion," said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#religion

A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'! ↗

— Kathy Griffin

#blasphemy #comedy #humor #humour #religion

If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview. ↗

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#heaven #heaven-and-hell #hell #humor #humour

Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked. “This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt. ↗

— John Zakour

#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #science

A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #science-fiction #science

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#vampires #style

I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

It's supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button. ↗

— John Brunner

#sociology #technology #technology

Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well! ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#hope

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. ↗

— Niels Bohr

#humour #truth #wisdom #wisdom