#humour

I got swirling eyes and the capacity to shatter windows with my bare voice. Tod got teleportation and invisibility. The supernatural world is so far from fair. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#supernatural #supernatural

This was the tricky bit. The really tricky bit, trickiness cubed. ↗

— Hugh Laurie

#hugh-laurie #humour #guns

Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're all gone. I'm out. Have a nice delusion. -Shayne ↗

— Rachel Caine

#delusion #humour #morganville-vampires #ghost

Does it give you déjà voodoo how alike the houses are?" "That's déjà vu, and I hate you right now ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humour #ghost

Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?" said a cold, drawling voice. Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him. "Yeah, reckon so," said Harry casually. "Got plenty of special features, hasn't it?" said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. "Shame it doesn't come with a parachute - in case you get too near a Dementor." Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. "Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy," said Harry. "Then it could catch the Snitch for you. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humour #snitch #prison

Cat, you asked me before to find out if those dream -suppression pills had any side effects. I’ve checked with Pathology, and they said you might experience depression, mood swings, irritability, paranoia, and chronic fatigue. Have you noticed any of that? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humour #urban-fantasy #dreams

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#ignorance #ridiculous #sucking-up #simplicity

I'll be firm," I promised Patch, adopting a no-nonsense expression. "No backing down." By now Patch was full-on grinning. He kissed me again, and I felt my mouth soften its resolve. "You look cute when you're trying to be tough," he said. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#expression

This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?" What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #lgbt #perfect

Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west." The sun rises in the east, dickhead." Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#perfect