#humour

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #humour #beauty

I was in the Square at the time. The crowd was a most good-humoured, easy going, smiling crowd; but presently it was transformed. A regiment of mounted police came cantering up. ↗

— Edward Carpenter

#crowd #easy #going #good-humoured #i

We may have thesame dreams, but never thesame nigthmares. ↗

— Igbinovia Ixrael

#humour #inspirational #life #attitude

So here were the facts: I felt possessive of her. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a "hit her over the head, drag her off by the hair, and fuck her" way. Like she was my toy and I was keeping the other boys in the sandbox from playing with her. How sick was that? If she ever heard me admit to that, she would cut off my balls and feed them to me. ↗

— Christina Lauren

#beauty

It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour. ↗

— Keenen Ivory Wayans

#give #gross #humour #jokes #lots

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. ↗

— Norman Wisdom

#children #comedy #got #haven #humour

My father and I had a good relationship, it was very relaxed. He had a lot of humour. He looked a little bit like me, although he had no beard. He had the appearance of a very elegant British-looking man. ↗

— Michael Haneke

#appearance #beard #bit #elegant #father

I like doom and gloom with a sense of humour. Maybe it's a Scottish thing, we like to undercut indulgence with a laugh. ↗

— Shirley Henderson

#gloom #humour #i #indulgence #laugh

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#anger #angry #come #get #humour

When will the Home Office realize that when judges retire, not only are they sent home for the rest of their lives, but the only people they have left to judge are their innocent wives.' 'So what are you recommending?'asked Alex as they walked into the drawing room. 'That judges should be shot on their seventieth birthday, and their wives granted a royal pardon and given their pensions by a grateful nation.' 'I may have come up with a more acceptable solution,' suggested Alex. 'Like what? Making it legal to assist judges' wives to commit suicide?' 'Something a little less drastic,' said Alex. ↗

— Jeffrey Archer

#judges #law #home