#humour

It made Craze smile, despite wishing most of his body parts would find new homes and leave him in peace. ↗

— M. Pax

#sci-fi #home

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.' 'The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.' 'We went towards them to greet them, but they ran away.' Snowman can imagine. The sight of these preternaturally calm, well-muscled men advancing en masse, singing their unusual music, green eyes glowing, blue penises waving in unison, both hands outstretched like extras in a zombie film, would have to have been alarming. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humour #mating #imagination

Our bellies are empty and our patience is short...submit to us and we will make of you a great quiche!' 'Again with the QUICHE?! What kind of self-respecting monster would eat a DAINTY PASTRY DISH?! STEW is what we will make of their bones!' 'Don't get greedy on me! There's three of them! I just want the little one for my quiche!' 'It was nothing to do with greed! It's a matter of principle! MONSTERS DO NOT EAT QUICHE! ↗

— Jeff Smith

#quiche #stupid-stupid-rat-creatures #respect

Stone me, what a life! ↗

— Tony Hancock

#life #misery #life

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#environmentalism #fish #humour #ocean #science

Oh, come on Em." He stopped walking and looked me in the eyes. His own were dark and shiny. "You know how I feel about you," he muttered. "I do?" He stepped closer and whispered, "When you're around, music plays in my head." My eyes welled. "Music," I repeated softly. "Well, you know." He grinned. "It's the Jaws theme. Da dum. Da dum. ↗

— Jennifer Jabaley

#humour #lipstick #music

people say me that choose the career in which you have interest.. i don't know that when i have not done something how i can have interest in that??? i think interest must be DEVELOPED!! ↗

— vineet asopa

#inspirational #inspirational

You would make a very ugly woman" "I would not. I would be stunning ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #tessa-gray

Some people have great ides maybe once or twice in their life and then they discover electricity or fire or outer or something. I mean the kind of brilliant ideas that change the whole world. Some people never have them at all... I get them two or three times a week. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#ignorance #change