#humour

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick. ↗

— Libba Bray

#bikini-wax #funny #girl #girls #girly

She's always getting into trouble because she gets bored really really easily. [...] My mum says it's because Celia has an attention span the size of a sesame seed. Celia's mum says it's because Celia's identity is unfurling itself slowly, like a tulip bud, and it's a breathtakingly beautiful thing to see. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#getting-into-trouble #humor #humour #hyperactivity #beauty

NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#global-warming #humour #law #north-carolina #politics

Me? Oh, intellectually I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say ‘shit!’ in front of a lady. ↗

— D.H. Lawrence

#courage

I love you.' 'Yeah, well...' 'You make my heart want to beat.' 'That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.' 'But my love for you is eternal.' 'That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Oh my god, two days ago I fell in love with the girl of my dreams. Tonight I find out she's insane ↗

— Jill Mansell

#dreams

I’m a firm believer in equality at all times—” “At all times?” She glanced at the cuffs clipped to his leathers. “Why do I find that hard to believe?” And why the heck was she arguing with him. Mine, mine, mine. “At all times,” he repeated. “However, in the bedroom or in the club, I am a lot more equal than you. ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#erotic-romance #funny #humour #romance #equality

You're driving me NORMAL! ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#mystery #psychological-thriller #mystery

Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing. ↗

— Nathan Hassall

#funny #nascent-illusion #sad #scary #strange

I don't know if you've ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience, as I'm sure you can imagine. ↗

— Elizabeth Newton

#fiction #humour #sci-fi #science-fiction #train