#humour

Ben walks in the room and asks, “What were you guys doing?” Nikki says “Nothing” at the same time I say, “Your sister and I were just makin’ out. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

What’s with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.” “I suspect I am a hooligan. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Don’t try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you.” “I hate you, too. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve." "And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#disappointments #election #elections #false-hope #funny

Excuse me,” she said, her voice tight. “But if I’d known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it! ↗

— Tara Janzen

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants. ↗

— Phil Torcivia

#humour #imagination

Funny,’ Will said, as they picked their way through. ‘Things are absolutely awful and yet people look much happier than usual. Look at them all. Bubbling.’ ‘They are English,’ Merriman said. ‘Quite right,’ said Will’s father. ‘Splendid in adversity, tedious when safe. Never content, in fact. We’re an odd lot…. ↗

— Susan Cooper

#humour #the-dark-is-rising #truism #funny

A funny yet interesting read, Will Self knowa his stuff and must do a lot of deep research. ↗

— Will Self

#funny

And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse. He needed to get laid. ↗

— Aggy Bird

#lol #funny

Bildon killed Tad. Look, there’s his dagger hidden in the pot of semolina. There’s the proof,” he screamed. “It’s in the pudding.” What an idiot, thought Madrick as he raced up the steps, the proof is always in the eating. ↗

— Ken Magee

#funny-humor #humor #humour #funny