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#humour

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humour




People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t ↗


— Stephen Fry


#happiness #humour #change

Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better. ↗


— Derek Landy


#death

Fs Are "Fabulous" Hey, Mom and Dad! I got my grades! And you'll be thrilled to hear the marks on our report cards are changed around this year. A bunch of kids were telling me this morning on the bus, that they had heard some teachers say that Fs are "fabulous." And Ds are proudly given out for work that's "dynamite." They're used to honor kids like me, whose brains are really bright. So C of course is super "cool"- I've got a few of those. I wish they could be Ds and Fs, but that's the way it goes. I'm pleased to see my teacher didn't give an A or B. I've worked too hard for one of those. Gosh, aren't you proud of me? I see you don't believe me. You think that I am lying? At least you will agree that I should get an A for trying! ↗


— Ted Scheu


#change

Too Busy I've folded all my laundry and put it in the drawer. I've changed my linen, made my bed, and swept my bedroom floor. I've emptied out the garbage and fixed tomorrow's lunch. I've baked some cookies for dessert and given dad a munch. I've searched the house for pencils and sharpened every one. There are so many things to do when homework must be done. ↗


— Bruce Lansky


#business

How are you feeling Sweet Peach?” he enquires as he walks across to the chest of drawers, selects a pair of socks and pulls them on. Sweet Peach? What the hell? He’s definitely gay … I shrug. “Er … okay, I guess. I really don’t remember much though. How did I get here … and why am I wearing your t-shirt?” I ask hesitantly, afraid of the answer. Hagen laughs nervously. “I brought you home when you couldn’t tell me where you lived. And don’t worry, you got changed all by yourself … in the kitchen … for like an hour. ↗


— J.C. McClean


#hangover #humour #change

The Howeitat spread out along the cliffs to return the peasants' fire. This manner of going displeased Auda, the old lion, who raged that a mercenary village folk should dare to resist their secular masters, the Abu Tayi. So he jerked his halter, cantered his mare down the path, and rode out plain to view beneath the easternmost houses of the village. There he reined in, and shook a hand at them, booming in his wonderful voice: 'Dogs, do you not know Auda?' When they realized it was that implacable son of war their hearts failed them, and an hour later Sherif Nasir in the town-house was sipping tea with his guest the Turkish Governor, trying to console him for the sudden change of fortune. ↗


— T.E. Lawrence


#humourosly-inspirational #military-leaders #tribal #change

Communist until you get rich; feminist until you get married; atheist until the airplane starts falling. ↗


— The Hypocrite Diaries


#human-nature #humour #hypocrisy #change

Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries ↗


— Howard Tayler


#humour #mockery #rules-to-live-by #sci-fi #sci-fi

Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff. Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys? No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police. -Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon ↗


— Howard Tayler


#evasive-action #humour #military #sci-fi #sci-fi

W turned on his heel and began walking toward the door at the far wall. And by walking I mean, of course, not moving at all, at least not to the naked eye, because his strides could only be measured in micrometers. His creaky legs made barely the tiniest of forward steps, so he’d taken four strides before I noticed any lateral movement at all. “I'll be right back.” “Geologically speaking, of course,” HARV said. ↗


— John Zakour


#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #sci-fi






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