#humour

The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears? Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation! I guess that explains their rich military history, then. -Ennesbey & Petey ↗

— Howard Tayler

#contradictions #cuddly #humour #military #overreaction

Through the door came a being of intense vivacity, impeccable sartorial integrity, and intermittent intelligibility. ↗

— Terry Bisson

#intelligence

The thingy? You want me, the most intelligent cognitive processor in the known worlds, to say thingy?” “Yes,” I reaffirmed. “That is correct." Do you stay up nights thinking of ways to humiliate me?" HARV asked. ↗

— John Zakour

#humour #intelligence

People soon get tired of things that aren't boring, but not of what is boring. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#life #life

That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: it said, 'goodbye ↗

— Richard Armour

#life #money #life

We're famous" iggy whispered so low that Fang could barely hear him. "So's Swine Flu" Fang whispered back. ↗

— James Patterson

#humourous #illness #run-for-there-life #life

In his essay,Agastya had said that his real ambition was to be a domesticated male stray dog because they lived the best life.They were assured of food,and because they were stray they didn't have to guard a house or beg or shake paws or fetch trifles or be clean or anything similarly meaningless to earn their food.They were servile and sycophantic when hungry;once fed,and before sleep,they wagged their tails perfunctorily whenever their hosts passes,as an investment for future meals.A stray dog was free,he slept a lot,barked unexpectedly and only when he wanted to,and got a lot of sex. ↗

— Upamanyu Chatterjee

#humour #food

Never say no to now ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humourous #life #philosophy #wisdom #life

In the political jargon of those days, the word "intellectual" was an insult. It indicated someone who did not understand life and was cut off from the people. All the Communists who were hanged at the time by other Communists were awarded such abuse. Unlike those who had their feet solidly on the ground, they were said to float in the air. So it was fair, in a way, that as punishment the ground was permanently pulled out from under their feet, that they remained suspended a little above the floor. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#gallows-humour #hanged #insult #intellectual #life

There are no dirty words in this book, except for 'hell' and 'God', in case someone is fearing that an innocent child might see 1...Perhaps the only precept taught me by Grandfather Wills that I have honoured all my adult life is that profanity and obsceny entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their eyes and ears to you. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#oversight #profaniy #swearing #life