#humour

Did I say stab of Self Pity? No, I was trekking through the Swamp of Self Pity at this point, waist deep in my own stinking shit. ↗

— Nicole Hamlett

#humour #humor

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

You were small, but far-famed. We were in Oldtown at your birth, and all the city talked of was the monster that had been born to the King’s Hand, and what such an omen might foretell for the realm.” “Famine, plague, and war, no doubt.” Tyrion gave a sour smile. “It’s always famine, plague, and war. Oh, and winter, and the long night that never ends.” “All that,” said Prince Oberyn, “and your father’s fall as well. Lord Tywin had made himself greater than King Aerys, I heard one begging brother preach, but only a god is meant to stand above a king. You were his curse, a punishment sent by the gods to teach him that he was no better than any other man.” “I try, but he refuses to learn.” Tyrion gave a sigh. “But do go on, I pray you. I love a good tale.” “And well you might, since you were said to have one, a stiff curly tail like a swine’s. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#love

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humourous #puns #satire-write #business

Contrary to popular belief, people always say "It was a pleasure doing business with you". It is the only thing that has stayed with me after an assignment. Always mix business with pleasure. That is a secret they don't want you to know. BUT never mix pleasure with business. Then you might just end up in a divorce. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#writing-craft #business

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores. ↗

— Cynthia Heimel

#love

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #philosophy #wisdom #wisdom-quote

I remembered that Beethoven's symphonies had sometimes been given names... they should have call [the Fifth] the Vampire, because it simply refused to lie down and die. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#humor #humour #music #symphonies #humor

Sasha snorted. "I have never in my extremely long life seen anyone take so long to answer a question. It's like you went into your brain and got lost. you need a bread crumb, buddy?" He made a noise like he was calling his pet. "Here Lassie, here. Come back girl. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

Had that poor Reilly kook really been proud of Levy Pants? He had always said that he was. That was one good sign of his insanity. ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#humour #humor