#humour

I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants. ↗

— Phil Torcivia

#humour #imagination

Funny,’ Will said, as they picked their way through. ‘Things are absolutely awful and yet people look much happier than usual. Look at them all. Bubbling.’ ‘They are English,’ Merriman said. ‘Quite right,’ said Will’s father. ‘Splendid in adversity, tedious when safe. Never content, in fact. We’re an odd lot…. ↗

— Susan Cooper

#humour #the-dark-is-rising #truism #funny

A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message. Luis: Hey ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Can you put your hands on my crotch?” “Why, hell no, I cannot.” I didn’t remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #funny

It'd be funny if one of them was called Gavin. Funny but irrelevant. ↗

— John Marsden

#funny

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask. ‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it. ↗

— Doug MacLeod

#humour #funny

Wow,” she said. “Do you realise how wonderful you sound?” “Yes, I do,” he said with a firm nod. “And I think I’m underappreciated. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious. ↗

— Walter Moers

#insanity #funny

Oh.” My dad actually looked sheepish. “It’s one o’clock in the morning and I was going to tell you to shut the monkey up and go to bed. I didn’t realise what was going on in here.” “What’s going on in here?” Cameron asked suspiciously. “Maturity.” My dad backed out of the room and closed the door. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it ↗

— Bill Hicks

#christians #comedy #creationism #creationists #funny