#humour

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ↗

— Elbert Hubbard

#life #life

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable. ↗

— Woody Allen

#life #life

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#life #science #technology #life

Oz: "Oh, hey! Animal cracker?" Willow: "No, thank you. How's your arm?" Oz: "Suddenly painless." Willow: "You can still play the guitar okay?" Oz: "Oh, not well, but not worse." Willow: "Y'know, I never really thanked you." Oz: "Oh, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty." Willow: "Well, then forget that thing. Especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life." Oz: "Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants." Willow: "Yeah, I see!" Oz: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo." Willow: "The monkey is French?" Oz: "All monkeys are French. You didn't know that? ↗

— 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' writers

#banter #buffy-the-vampire-slayer #humour #life

Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I'm not dead. ↗

— Tom Stoppard

#life

My aunt and overprivileged cousin only recognize two states of being: glitter and grunge. And if you weren’t glitter, well, that only left one other option. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#irony-of-life #life

Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled. ↗

— Kiera Cass

#humour #life #life

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct." "Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages." "I doubt it." "Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him. "Not seriously." "Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know. Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?" "Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#chicklit #cute #humor #humorous #humour

المصايب مش بتحصل للناس اللي في الجرنال بس! ↗

— أحمد العسيلي

#life #life

My patience has dreadful chilblains from standing so long on a monument. ↗

— Elizabeth Barrett Browning

#life #life