#humour

Susan hardly had begun to slow down when Tera appeared from between a couple of buildings and loped over to the car. I leaned forward, opened the door, and she got into the backseat. I threw her the extra clothes I had picked up, and she began to dress without comment. It worked," I said. "We did it." Of course it worked," Tera said. "Men are foolish. They will stare at anything female and naked. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#men #sex #women #men

That's part of your curse. To drive men mad with desire and feel no pleasure". "Great," I muttered. "And all this time I thought I was frigid. ↗

— Kristina Douglas

#men

So it was perfectly possible that there were men who liked shopping, men who understood exactly what it was all about, but Mma Ramotwe had yet to meet such a man. Maybe they existed elsewhere - in France, perhaps - but they did not seem to be much in evidence in Botswana. ↗

— Alexander McCall Smith

#humour #mma-ramotswe #men

He stopped at the gate on his way back to the temple, where Gracilis, the Twentieth’s hard-case wolf hunter from the Campanian mountains, was supervising the strengthening of the defences. ‘Take some men and tear down the huts along the west wall. And while you’re at it, clear everything for a javelin throw in front of this gate. I want a killing ground from there to about there.’ Gracilis grinned and saluted. Like all legionaries, the only thing he liked better than fighting and drinking was destroying someone else’s property. ‘Should we burn them, sir?’ he said hopefully. Valerius shook his head. No point in creating smoke to warn the enemy. ‘Just break them up and add them to the barriers. ↗

— Douglas Jackson

#men

Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your fucking Xmas card ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#humour #money

Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Jumping to conclusions is like playing with damp gunpowder: both likely to go off in wrong direction. ↗

— Charlie Chang

#humour #myster #change

We Slovenians are even better misers than you Scottish. You know how Scotland began? One of us Slovenians was spending too much money, so we put him on a boat and he landed in Scotland. ↗

— Slavoj Žižek

#misers #money #scotland #scots #slovenians

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows: Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your f****** Xmas card I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#comedy #humour #phyllis-diller #money

We're on a mission from Glod. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#music