#humour

I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet." At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?" "I just know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humour #libba-bray #beauty

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

There’s always time for arguin’ when you’re a Fuentes. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. “Baa,” it flirted. “Boo,” said Jared. “Oh my God, Jared. Don’t tough-talk the lambs.” "It was giving me a funny look. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem. Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea. Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit. Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll. ↗

— David Walliams

#britishness #cake #humour #tea #tyrannosaurus-rex

I don't want to sound facetious, but humour is the key to the soul. You know what I mean? ↗

— Martin Lawrence

#i #key #know #mean #soul

I'm definitely responsible for the image that I put out there. But it does become frustrating, because I don't want 'sexy' to be my defining characteristic. I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well. ↗

— Eva Mendes

#because #become #characteristic #define #defining