#humourous

The trouble with eating Italian is that 5 or 6 days later, you're hungry again. ↗

— George Miller

#food #humourous #food

Let's chow, and then we'll get our books," Tony said. Just as the door was about to close behind us, he added, "You act like you've never had food before. ↗

— Rebecca Maizel

#food

...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die. ↗

— Joshua Donellan

#humorous #humour #humourous #food

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. ↗

— Stephen King

#funny #humourous #funny

I thought you were a drunk." "A drunk?" "Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?" He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead. ↗

— Linda Howard

#sarcasm #sarcasm

Optimism was for children. Once you reached adulthood then you had to join the rest of the world as a realist - life was a bag of shit you were expected to pay for. ↗

— N.C. Thomas

#pessimism #realism #life

They play like file clerks file. ↗

— Lauren Kessler

#life

If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important." -Sally ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#funny #humourous-situations #sally #funny

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorist #humorous-quotations #humourous #humor

Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humourous #protectiveness #life