#humourous

Percy stormed over to the magical cooler. No one tried to stop him. He knocked open the lid and rummaged throught the ice. There had to be one. Please. He was rewarded with s silver-and-red can of soda. He brandished it at the dolphin warriors as if spraying them with bug repellent. "Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humourous #percy #diet

Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?” “Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#college #colleges #funny #humor #humour

Never say no to now ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humourous #life #philosophy #wisdom #life

In love, one always begins in deceiving oneself, and one always ends in deceiving others. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#love

While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#humor #humourous-situations #jeopardy #jingle #love

Words can be meaningless. If they are used in such a way that no sharp conclusions can be drawn. ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#richard-feynmann #thought-provoking-humourous #thought-provoking

Many feel that writers are a dime a dozen, so the goal is to break through and make it to the value of a penny. ↗

— Wil Zeus

#philosophical #thought-provoking-humourous #thought-provoking

Jimmy held on to the reins for dear life, and thought that a horse was about the most slippery creature to sit on that he had ever met. He slithered first one way and then another, and at last he slid off altogether and landed with a bump on the ground. Sticky Stanley and Lotta held on to one another and laughed till the tears ran down their faces. They thought it was the funniest sight in the world to see poor Jimmy slipping about on the solemn, cantering horse. ↗

— Enid Blyton

#horseback-riding #horses #humourous #laughing #reins

It doesn’t matter anyway!” Patrick couldn’t sit down. He couldn’t. “It’s not like sex is anything to shout about! It’s icky, and the guy never wants to wear a condom, and I have to give a frickin’ health and safety lesson every time I give a blow job because they think I’m stupid, and I know you can get shit from giving head, and I’m not putting that thing in my mouth unless I get a written fucking guarantee that it’s not going to drop off or explode or give me some life-threatening disease or mutant antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea! ↗

— Amy Lane

#life

(backpacker having conversation with Lizzie the Australian main character) Backpacker: 'What's the drinking age in Australia?' 'eighteen' 'is that enforced' Lizzie thought for a second before answering seriously, 'yes, they make us drink ↗

— Catherine Deveny

#backpacker #drinking #humourous #age