#humourous

Mum repeated the old adage that money can't buy you everything...before adding that she prefers using credit cards instead. ↗

— Kirkland Ciccone

#money

Where is he? Bridgerton!" he bellowed. Three chestnut heads swiveled in his direction. Simon stomped across the grass, murder in his eyes. "I meant the idiot Bridgerton." "That, I believe," Anthony said mildly, tilting his chin toward Colin, "would refer to you. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humour

Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, "She only speaks Cantonese." "She does not. She keeps coming in and saying 'What's up my nigga?'" "Oh yeah. She does that to me, too. Did you give her a pound?" "No. I didn't give her a pound, motherfucker. She called me a nigga." "Well, she's not going to quit unless you give her a pound. It's just the way she rolls." "That's some bullshit, Troy." "It's her couch. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humourous-situations #funny

Went to get coffee today-opened my change purse. Sea shells fell out. Barista goes "Sorry, we only take cash or credit." So there's that. ↗

— Taylor Swift

#life #moment #change

(backpacker having conversation with Lizzie the Australian main character) Backpacker: 'What's the drinking age in Australia?' 'eighteen' 'is that enforced' Lizzie thought for a second before answering seriously, 'yes, they make us drink ↗

— Catherine Deveny

#backpacker #drinking #humourous #age

Manicures: Which are basically just holding hands with a stranger for forty-five minutes whilst listening to Enya. ↗

— Miranda Hart

#humourous-situations #beauty