#humourous

Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humourous #protectiveness #life

Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap ↗

— Tom Holt

#life

Never say no to now ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humourous #life #philosophy #wisdom #life

In love, one always begins in deceiving oneself, and one always ends in deceiving others. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#love

While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#humor #humourous-situations #jeopardy #jingle #love

The great artists of finance like Morgan and Rockefeller weren't deflected. They wanted and got money, just simple money. What they did with it afterward is another matter. I've always felt they got scared of the ghost they raised and tried to buy it off. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#money

Words can be meaningless. If they are used in such a way that no sharp conclusions can be drawn. ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#richard-feynmann #thought-provoking-humourous #thought-provoking

Many feel that writers are a dime a dozen, so the goal is to break through and make it to the value of a penny. ↗

— Wil Zeus

#philosophical #thought-provoking-humourous #thought-provoking

Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#hilarious #humour #humourous #truth #men

Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, "She only speaks Cantonese." "She does not. She keeps coming in and saying 'What's up my nigga?'" "Oh yeah. She does that to me, too. Did you give her a pound?" "No. I didn't give her a pound, motherfucker. She called me a nigga." "Well, she's not going to quit unless you give her a pound. It's just the way she rolls." "That's some bullshit, Troy." "It's her couch. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humourous-situations #funny