#humourous

You want me to be your spy in a game of restaurant espionage? Will I need a code name?" "It's nothing morally reprehensible or anything, " Wes hastened to assure her. "Just curiosity." "I think your code name should be Tiberius," she said decisively. "I'll be Uhura." "Tiberius? As in James Tiberius Kirk?" Wes blinked, then grinned. "Oh my God, this is your version of flirting. How do you say 'I fancy you' in Klingon? ↗

— Louisa Edwards

#humourous-situations #humor

A few days earlier, Adriana and I had been browsing books at the local library. I happened to turn around and look at her...and that was it. The man who "loved to laugh" in Mary Poppins had nothing on us. ↗

— Gina Marinello-Sweeney

#love

She nodded, grabbed her purse out of the drawer and skedaddled, walking like she was on a catwalk, one foot in front of the other, her ass swaying under the skirt of her expensive, tailored suit. Bitch. I thought again, watching her go. “No comparison,” Luke said after the door closed behind Dawn and I turned to him. “Excuse me?” “Dawn’s a man eater. You’re not. No comparison,” Luke answered and I didn’t know how to take that. “Is that good?” The half-smile came back. “Most men prefer to do the eating.” Holy fucking cow. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#humourous #romance #men

That's part of your curse. To drive men mad with desire and feel no pleasure". "Great," I muttered. "And all this time I thought I was frigid. ↗

— Kristina Douglas

#men

The mighty hunter,” I quipped as we snuck out the backdoor, escaping into the yard. “He can take down vicious rabids and rampaging boars, but one old lady can make him flee in terror.” “One scary old lady,” he corrected me, looking relieved to be out of the house. “You didn’t hear what she told me when I got up — you’re so cute I could put you in a pie. Tell me that’s not the creepiest thing you’ve ever heard.” His voice climbed a few octaves, turning shrill and breathy. “Today for dessert, we have apple pie, blueberry pie and Ezekiel pie. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#zeke-and-allie #terrorism

I thought you were a drunk." "A drunk?" "Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?" He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead. ↗

— Linda Howard

#sarcasm #sarcasm

They play like file clerks file. ↗

— Lauren Kessler

#life

If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important." -Sally ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#funny #humourous-situations #sally #funny

Primele încercări de predare a unei limbi, mă refer la engleză, cimpanzeilor datează abia din secolul XX. Toate au dat greş, inclusiv una dintre cele mai cunoscute, făcută pe la sfârşitul anilor '40 de o familie de cercetători americani, Hayes, care au crescut un cimpanzeu, pe Vicky, ca pe copilul lor. Degeaba. După luni şi luni de învăţare, Vicky bolborosea vag patru cuvinte: tata, mama, pahar, sus. «Tată, mamă, să ridicăm un pahar». Sigur, fraza e foarte utilă la aniversări, dar cam atât. ↗

— Pascal Picq

#family

Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes. ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#humourous #pizza #humor