#i

Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#humour #liars #lie #priests #funny

I only hope, for the sake of the rising male sex generally, that you may be found in as vulnerable and soft-hearted a mood by the first eligible young fellow who appeals to your compassion. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#marriage #funny

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#english #funny #man #vulnerable #funny

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes? Out of the way. - Marigold ↗

— Jean Ferris

#giants #joke #funny

A funny little literary article in the hand is worth at least three Critiques of Pure Reason in the bush. ↗

— Aldous Huxley

#funny

There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off. "What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! ↗

— Greg Farshtey

#time #funny

Red tape is being mishandled as government wrapping paper. We should be putting it over politicians’ mouths instead. ↗

— Bauvard

#government #humor #politicians #red-tape #funny

When there's an attractive lifeguard on duty I always drown at least twice. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #lifeguards #funny

Well, anyway, this'll be easier than knocking an elf out of a tree. Trust me.' 'How many elves have you knocked out of trees, Stubble?' 'Duraden's bones! Have ye never heard of a figure of speech? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#dialogue #fantasy #funny #stubble #zagor

Insta-love isn’t something that happens in real life. It happens in the books I read, but not in the world I live. Though here stands this beautiful, sexy, funny, sweet and amazing guy who has done everything short of professing love at first sight to me and I’m still standing here like a pair of lungs suffocating, needing him in order to breathe. ↗

— Kathryn Vance-Perez

#japan #kissing #love #romance #truth