#is

Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages locked at night.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#foolish #hope #lock #love #night

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#argue #arguments #chores #cynicism #desire

Z: "You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck." Phury: "That was you?" Z:"You think it was Santa Claus or some shit? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #j-r-ward #phury #zsadist #humor

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. ↗

— Zora Neale Hurston

#humor #self-assurance #self-worth #humor

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #uncertainty #humor

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#deep #his #invented #language #man

Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?" "I give." "You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#dogs #dyslexia #god #humor #insomnia

Don't go looking for boys in the dark They will say pretty things then leave you with scars. Do go looking for boys in the park For that is where the true gentlemen are. ↗

— Anna Godbersen

#gentlemen #humor #love #wisdom #humor

Otulissa swelled up to twice her normal size. 'Well, SPRINK ON YOUR SPRONK! ↗

— Kathryn Lasky

#insult #nonsense #otulissa #funny

Christians. They’re determined to rid the land of any who worship the Horned One. Murdering all the druids, burning the temples, sometimes whole villages, and knocking over the standing stones.” The Lady’s face hardened. “This god of peace and love certainly likes to bathe the land in blood. ↗

— Brom

#dark-fantasy #fantasy #religion #urban-fantasy #love