#m

The shortest distance between two people is a smile. ↗

— Victor Borge

#kindness #music #victor-borge #humor

Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#sarcasm #humor

Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either. ↗

— Elizabeth Zimmermann

#knitting #life #humor

Many complain of their looks, few of their brains. ↗

— Sally Koslow

#life #humor

Claire to Tony: "I know you enjoy coffee, I'd offer you some. But, the last time I got you coffee, it didn't work out so well for me. ↗

— Aleatha Romig

#humor

Here's something for you to remember; you might have been born into money, but you came out of a vagina the same as everyone else. Popping out of one that's rich doesn't make you anything but lucky, or susceptible to being stuck your own arse. Whichever. ↗

— Suzanne Wright

#you-got-told #humor

Theres no such thing as vampire mojo,"said Jace,rather eeirly echoing Clarys earlier comment."And I was following Clary,but then she got into a cab,and I cant follow a cab.So I doubled back and followed you instead.Mostly for something to do" "You were following Clary?"Simon echoed."Heres a hot tip : Most girls dont like being stalked ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little ↗

— Shannon Hale

#romantic-humor #humor

Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. I'm ready. My toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make me some Pop-Tarts, bitch. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#humor

If I’d known you were such a lush, I’d have given you the cheap stuff. Going to go out with a bang, are you? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor