#m

Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't." "There is nothing hidden about it," he replied. My objective is obvious. I've decided I'd rather have you describe me as 'sweet' than a 'slagging pain in the tailset.'" "Really?" "Well..." he looked up from the bag. "Maybe not in public." "I might be able to confine myself to saying it in private, if you gave me a reason." Taya met his eyes, and he blushed.

— Dru Pagliassotti

#flirting #nicknames #teasing #humor

Terence: As my old da used to tell me, 'never trust a rich man'. David: Good thing I'm only moderately rich. Terence: Which is why I only moderately distrust you. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#romance #wealth #humor

Hello toes," I say. They're good toes. I like that they're long and slender and not the slightest bit stubby. I wiggle them, ten unstubby waves that say, "And hello to you, Human Host!" Except they're toes. I'm talking to my toes. Maybe I'm not bored... maybe I'm lonely? ↗

— Lauren Myracle

#humor

Yep, ouch. He and apologies didn’t get along. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

She was blissfully unaware of her peril. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#marriage #humor

We hate it when our friends become successful. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

The British nation is unique in this respect: they are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#british #humor #humor

Did you ever wish you had a book that would explain the full meaning of life's random happenings to you? ↗

— Mariko Tamaki

#life #random #humor

6th grade. My dog, Katie, is hit by a car and killed. A mean girl during recess says it committed suicide because it didn't love me. I cry and swear revenge on mankind. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#pets #humor

She placed her make-up bag in front of her, opened it, then ignored the contents. She used it for show and always as a warning to the body that she may one day use it! ↗

— Nicholas Reardon

#humor #manga #reardon #ya #humor