#mail

I'm hopeless by e-mail, by phone, by text. ↗

— Rachel Maddow

#hopeless #i #phone #text

The question is, If I killed your husband, would you seek revenge, or would you send me a Thank You card? I think I know the answer, so here is my address: Jarod Kintz 12321 Karma Circle, Jax, Fl 32223.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#answer #gratitude #husband #kill #mail

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #lust #mail #music #naughty

The bonds of friendship dwindle with age, Oliver. But a little blackmail lasts forever. ↗

— Stephen Hunt

#friendship #humor #age

TO:[email protected]: Something's wrong! The house is shaking! TO:[email protected]: Well can you turn down the volume on Star Trek:Voyager? I thought we were having an earthquake when the Enterprise hit Warp speed. Why did you let me sleep until nearly one? ↗

— Robert Bryndza

#email #funny #star-trek-warp-speed #funny

Cellaholics are those who interrupt quality time when they are with you, but rather text, call, and email others who are somewhere else. ↗

— Jayce O'Neal

#drjayce #email #humor #jayce #jayceoneal

Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#love #wonderful #love

Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical, or you could buy 101 copies of my .99 cents ebook. Just kidding—I didn’t mean to imply that buying 101 copies of my book was impractical. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #gift-certificate #impractical #insightful #letter

When infuriated by an outrageous column, do not be suckered into responding with an abusive e-mail. Pundits so targeted thumb through these red-faced electronic missives with delight, saying 'Hah! Got to 'em.' ↗

— William Safire

#delight #e-mail #electronic #got #into

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal. ↗

— John Waters

#america #big #big deal #christopher #columbus