#mer

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson #humor #matt-groening #simpons #humor

Being trapped thus is incredibly frustrating for me, and occasionally I take it out on others. Again, I apologize. Now, if you’d like, I can help you with what you’re seeking.” Knowing I’d probably regret it, I crossed the room and yanked the canvas off the mirror. As before, he was sitting on the table, smirking at me. “Jackass, jackass on the wall, where’s the info on Hex Hall? ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #sophie-mercer #spell-bound #humor

Coffee or orange juice?” “Water is fine.” His eyebrows went up. “Uh-oh,” Auriele said, but she was smiling. Darryl was not. “Are you implying that my coffee is not the best in four counties? Or my fresh-squeezed orange juice is less than perfect? ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#breakfast #darryl #humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. American novels, answered Lord Henry. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#bad-reviews #books #humor #literary-criticism #novels

Nathan always believed his wife was trying to poison him but he didn't seem to mind. He said it made life kind of exciting. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor #l-m-montomery #humor

I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities- a sense of humor and a sense of proportion. ↗

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

#humor #proportion #united-states #usa #humor

Without the door let sorrow lie, And if for cold it hap to die, We'll bury 't in a Christmas pie, And evermore be merry. ↗

— George Wither

#humor #merriment #wassail #humor

The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser. ↗

— Michael R. Underwood

#geek #humor #urban-fantasy #humor

How do you always know just what to say?" I ask. His laugh rumbles through me. "Practice, I guess." I pull back and give him a quizzical look. "I spent three years imagining what I would say to you if you were mine," he says, tugging me close. "I should hope I know what to say now that I've got you. ↗

— Tera Lynn Childs

#fins-are-forever #lily #lily-sanderson #mer-people #mermaids

In this country, don’t forget, a habit is no damn private hell. There’s no solitary confinement outside of jail. A habit is hell for those you love. And in this country it’s the worst kind of hell for those who love you. ↗

— Billie Holiday

#america #love