#mo

The most important thing to remember is that the safe word is for the client; you bring mace. ↗

— Isa K.

#funny #humor #safe-words #funny

There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corrupt #corruption #country #funny #humor

She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#funny-and-random #mothers #names #sobriquet #sons

Dalai Lama: an oriental pope who sells his followers indulgences that take effect after ten thousand lifetimes. ↗

— Bauvard

#dalai-lama #funny #humor #funny

You must be a blast on long car rides.” “Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny #humor #michael #sarcasm #sex

I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment. ↗

— Bauvard

#cynicism #disillusionment #funny #growing-up #humor

No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE ↗

— Andy Ostrom

#cooking #entertaining #etiquette #funny #humor

Injuries heal, but wrinkles are the scars of time. ↗

— Bauvard

#healing #humor #injuries #scars #wrinkles

The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce your grandfather. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #proverbs #funny

Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth. He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again. "You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans. "I could always take them off." He smirks. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james