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#mo

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #mo




Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will sysematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives." Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that?


George Carlin


#humor #smoking #funny

And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.


Augusten Burroughs


#drinking #humor #humor

Get back on the bike and tell me where to go." "I'll tell you where to go," I muttered sourly, and he laughed.


Karen Marie Moning


#humor

It's a dirty way to fight, but I'm late for lunch." - Valek to Yelena


Maria V. Snyder


#fantasy #fight #humor #valek #yelena

What?" Jace was still staring at her as if she'd told him she had found one of the Silent Brothers doing nude cartwheels in the hallway.


Cassandra Clare


#humor

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.


Terry Pratchett


#humor

First, it’s used.” “Now look here,” Teddy Jo growled. “It’s not a Cadillac. It’s a body freezer. The value doesn’t drop because you drive it off the lot.” “I don’t know what sort of bodies you stuck in there, Teddy. You might have put a leucrocuta in there. Those things stink.” “It’s not like the dead gonna care. They can’t smell shit, and they themselves ain’t gonna get to smelling any better.


Ilona Andrews


#humor

No one told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend." "We're Millennium Lint now," Simon protested


Cassandra Clare


#humor

And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper.


James R. Tuck


#vampires #humor

So, you figure they won't notice you're back?" sneered the marquis. "Just, 'oh look, there's another angel, here, grab a harp and on with the hosannas'?


Neil Gaiman


#humor






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