#mo

The most temptation I'd experienced had been with Tomas, the Senate's spy who had been feeding off me without permission, and Mircea, who was probably plotting some nefarious scheme. I have no taste in men. ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #vampire

And then to Leo’s surprise, Catherine smiled at him. A sweet, natural, brilliant smile, the first she had ever given him. Leo felt his chest tighten, and he went hot all over, as if some euphoric drug had gone straight to his nervous system. It felt like … happiness. He remembered happiness from a long time ago. He didn’t want to feel it. And yet the giddy warmth kept washing over him for no reason whatsoever. “Thank you,” Catherine said, the smile still hovering on her lips. “That is kind of you, my lord. But I will never dance with you.” Which, of course, made it the goal of Leo’s life. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #romance #humor

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life. ↗

— Chris Colfer

#humor #sarcasm #humor

Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth. ↗

— David Mitchell

#lying #truth #humor

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #writing #funny

This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#guns #humor #literature #humor

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#douglas-adams #humor #humor

You are a sad, sad little man and you have my pity. — Buzz Lightyear ↗

— Cathy East Dubowski

#pity #humor

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#humor