#mo

You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.' 'No I mean it. You don't look good.' 'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #insults #jace-lightwood #simon-lewis #humor

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. ↗

— Mark Twain

#travel #humor

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#life #movies #humor

By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story. ↗

— John Green

#humor

Did you just kiss me?" Will inquired. Magnus made a slip-second decision. "No." "I thought-" "On occasion the aftereffects of the painkilling spells can result in hallucinations of the most bizarre sort." "Oh," Will said. "How peculiar. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards. ↗

— Rudyard Kipling

#justification #mistakes #pretexts #humor

Harry — I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!” And she sprinted away, up the stairs. “What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from. “Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head. “But why’s she got to go to the library?” “Because that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #library #humor